Elon Musk and the pig people

I am astonished by the amount of conspiracy theories and their creativity. Some are quite sophisticated, complete with “scientific” studies and experts. Others are just mental. I want to be part of it and I also want to be heard. So here is my totally true truth about Elon Musk and the pig people. This is the Internet and some people believe almost everything. So just to make sure this post is clearly a satire.

Do you know what kind of business Elon Musk does? You all know him for his electric Tesla cars. Or maybe you heard about his space rocket ventures? What you certainly have not read is that he also tries to build brain-computer-interfaces. You can even read about in an obscure magazine called The Economist (of course).

His company Neuralink successfully implanted a device into a pig’s brain (called Gertrude) to measure brain activity. You might say this is great because it could help people control artificial limbs and such but this device can also receive signals. Of course they are talking about all the humanitarian applications this can have but let’s face the truth. Elon Musk has created a remote controlled pig.

How does this connect with Tesla and SpaceX. Here it gets interesting. It is well known that Elon Musk wants to send people to Mars. But there are some hurdles chief among them the amount of radiation received during transfer and the fact that this will be a one-way trip. So he decided to send remote controlled pigs. Why you ask? Pigs have stronger skins and can withstand radiation better. Also no one cares if these pigs make it back or not. Pigs also breed much faster and have brains similar to humans.

So Elon Musk will use his rockets to shoot pigs into space and onto Mars where together with self-driving Mars rovers (thanks to his car factories) he can start colonizing Mars with these pig people. Once the colony gets going and becomes self-sufficient he will offer people a ticket to Mars. But he will not send them with rockets. No…he will transfer human minds into the brains of the pig people already living on Mars.

After a century or so Mars will be full of remote controllable pig-humans ready to invade Earth. But we will be weakened and frightened by recurring Coronavirus outbreaks so that we completely neglect this threat from Space. Pig-Humans taking over the world. 

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