Just to be clear this post is meant as a satire if it is not obvious. But this being the internet and some people being not equipped with what is called humor I make it explicit.
If you follow me on Twitter or here you probably know that I consider most government measures against the spread of SARS-COV2 useless and in fact more dangerous than the virus itself [1,2]. Nevertheless I am wondering why my country and others are going into another lockdown. What is the rationale and reasoning behind this because the first lockdown obviously did not work out. Here is what I came up with.
Lockdown #1: A kind of staycation
The first lockdown encompassed almost everything. Sure restaurants, cinemas and other leisure activities were unavailable but so was work and school. Many people could enjoy the advantages of remote work. No traffic every morning, no public transport with smelly people and crowded trains. Meetings were virtual so you could simply switch off the speaker and not hear your boss drone on and on about the latest innovation plans.
For some people work even stopped completely. But they were still paid by the magnificent government with its unlimited supply of money. Shopping was still available even if it had to be done online but a fleet of delivery trucks catered to our every need. Kids could skip school and younger parents could enjoy remote work together with their toddler back from kindergarten.
So for many people the first lockdown was a kind of staycation. Many people learned how to cook or bake bread. A lot of garden or house projects were finished and the sale of books and Netflix subscriptions went through the roof.
Intermission: Let’s do what was impossible
The infection numbers went down over the summer and so the people went out again and had fun. Restaurants, bars and theaters were open again, young people met outside for parties and life seemed somewhat normal, except for the annoying masks. But then the infection started to rise again (as they do every autumn anyway) and the virus had fun too. All those parties, gettogethers, meetings, bar visits and holidays were enjoyable for the virus as well. Lots of new people to get to know better (intimately so). This could not go on.
Lockdown #2: The Virus hates Fun
“Alright infection numbers are up again and we need to do something” is the politicians motto. So what did we do wrong last time? What was the common thread? Ah Yes…people had too much fun and the virus too. We need to kill all the fun so the virus stops spreading. Boredom will surely defeat it.
So everything is closed down again except work and school. You heard us. You can go to work, you need to learn for your math test but you can’t have any fun anywhere except alone at home. But then you have to go to work the next day so the fun is limited. We hope that this will defeat the virus once and for all. Sure we could use science and rational thinking to deal with this situation but we think having no fun is the right solution. Because the virus hates fun. And this is science too.